Formats of Email writing
1: What are the three major elements in the email writing?
the introduction, the body and the closing.
2：What basic elements are included in the email writing?
to, cc, bcc, subject, attachment, addressing, opening, body, closing.
3: Fill in the blanks with correct items from the list below
Cc: ____Q_ _(2)
Attachment if it is necessary
Salutation: ___A________ (4)
Items for choosing:
Your customer’s information
A: Dear Mr. Carlo Buesges
B: Frost * Design
C: Design director
D: 15 Foster St. Surry Hills, NSW 2010, Sydney, Australia
E: Tel: +61-2-9280-4233
F: Fax: +61-2-9280-4266
G: Email: email@example.com
H: Upcoming design forum in Taiwan
Your own information:
I: Patrizia Chou
J: Marketing specialist
K: CPC intl. Co.
L: 2F, No, 289, Sec.3,Zhong-Hwa Rd. Zhong-Shan district, Taipei 196 Tai Wan.
M: Tel: (02) 2751-3376 Ext: 014 Cell: 0983246788
N: Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
P: Fax: (02) 13456978
R:We are pleased to inform you that…… in the attachment, you’ll see …….
Finally, it would be a great pleasure to have you with…….
S: We are looking forward to hearing from you soon.
T: Best regards/Best wishes
Principles of Business Writing:
__be simple and clear__ __be concise_________ __be appropriate in tone
The format of introduction.
To: The key reader should be the decision maker
CC: Do not send your email to more recipients than necessary.
Do not circulate emails which are critical of someone’s conduct
BCC: If you must send the same email to a large number people, put their address in the BCC box
and use just one email address in the To box (your own is a good choice).
This keeps the person’s email address private; there are mail merge functions for addressing
What’s wrong with the following email?
Alice chen: Supervisor Robin: intern Abby: HR manager Flora: department manager
To: Alice Chen
Subject: Mentor to our intern
CC: Robin (intern), Abby (the admin)
Though you scored below average last year in the performance review, you
Have made great progress this year!
As you know, Robin is our intern and I would like you to be his mentor for the
next 3 months and I really believe that you will do a good job!
Anything I can help, please let me know.
To: Alice Chen
Subject: Mentor to our intern
As you know, Robin is our intern and because of your great progress I would like you to be his
mentor for the next 3 months. I really believe that you will do a good job!
If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.
(This email shouldn’t be sent to the intern Robin. It’s not necessary to do that.)
The format of introduction: subject.
What’s wrong with these subject lines? They are too general and I am too busy to open them.
•Information you need: better - the information of the project on delivery you need. •Greetings from Harry: better -the greetings of John Smith’s condition from Harry. •Important: better -The important information of the meeting agenda. •Thanks: better -Thanks for your kind invitation. •Meeting Notice: better - the meeting notice of the project on June 15th. •Blank: never leave the subject line blank. •Subject: Re: 3 projectors packed for shipping by Tuesday night Don’t put RE in the subject line. •Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re:3 projectors arrive in Boston Wednesday at 3pm There are too many "Re"s in the subject line. •Subject: Fw:Fw:Fw: This is urgent. Don’t put too many "Fw"s in the subject line. Recycled subject lines become increasingly confusing and irrelevant.
When should you use FYI?
If you are simply giving information that Is not critical, then start the subject line with “FYI”
Let the person know that he or she does not need to do anything-it’s just for their information.
"Do"s and "Dont’s" for the subject line:
_A short descriptive and informative subject line that helps the audience to stay organized.
_Never leave a blank subject line.
_Never make the subject too long.
_Never make the subject too vague
Please choose the correct subject titles of each email from the list below
We are here to inform you that several of our customers have come back to us complaining about the product code # 11X05—00256, which the watch chain can not be well-adjusted. Please help us to find out the quick solution, thank you!
Due to the recent financial crisis, we all suffered a lot; therefore, we would like to make a special offer on A/W collection 09, please see the attachment where you could find out the new price list.
We are pleased to inform you that your order of model # 2314 will soon be released within two days. Please confirm the final check of the invoice, as attached. Thank you!
Product code 32165, please see the photo in the attachment. There are several irremovable stains and bad electroplated spots. And we would like to send those products back and give us other replacements. Thank you!
A: Customer complaints—product issue # 11X05—00256
B: Product issue and replacement on # 32165
C: Special offer of A/W 09
D: Urgent shipment invoice # 2314
E: inquiry about product issue of # 11X05—00256
F: shipment notice of model # 2314
G: repair issue # 32165
Suggested subject titles for sample emails below:
(1) urgent request of model samples
We are interested in your products and probably would like to cooperate with you. Please let us know if we could get several pairs of your model samples. We would appreciate if you could send them within a week, thank you!
(2) News! Price list and catalogues of 2010.
We’ve been noticed that there might be new inquiries in your local market, and we have the best offer to meet your current needs. Attached with the up-to-date price list and catalogues of 2010. Please let us know if you need any further information. Thank you!
(3) Quotation request of annual order.
We are recommended by others from Sunny Group that you have the best quality of sunglasses in Taiwan. The thing is that we will be having a huge inquiry for our annual order. Therefore, please contact us with your best quotation, thank you!
(4) Notice of stock order
We have received large inquiries on our S/S 2010 collection among our agents around the world within this week. Therefore, in order to meet your seasonal order quota and availabilities of each collection, please make the order as soon as possible. Thank you!
(5) Refusal on shipment No. 2345&replacement.
We regret to inform you that partial goods of shipment # 2345 have been damaged. After the examination, it was found out that because of its bad packaging. Therefore we refuse to take this delivery and would like to send them back for new replacements.
The format of the introduction: Attachments:
What problems usually occur when sending attachments?
They cannot be opened, the size is too large, too many attachments are together in one email.
What should we do with attachments?
1: we should check whether it can be opened or not before sending the email
2: compile, compress, or zip several attachments together
3: check the total size because the receiptiant may have a limit.
How to remind the reader of an attachment?
1: Kindly please see/refer to the attached……
2: Kindly please find ……in the attachment.
3: Attached files is/are……for your reference.
4: Attached is our………that you have requested.
5: Here we would like to attach…….to this message.
6: I would appreciate if you could read the attached carefully.
The format of body: Addressing or salutation:
How should we address at the beginning of the email?
•Dear…/To whom It may concern •To a company •do not know somebody; you only know the position and department. •Dear Purchasing Department/To whom it may concern/Dear sirs/madam/Dear Mr./ Ms. •To a man / woman if you know as your business partner e.g. Dear Mr. Kevin Smith •Dear + name, Hi/Hello + name •To a friend or someone you know well e.g. Dear Kevin/Hello, Kevin/Hi, Kevin.
Suggested salutations for various situations
A: Luis E. Rodriguez (you know well)Dear. Luis,/Hi, Luis,/Hello Luis, B: Ken Collins (married, and he is your professor)Dear Dr. Ken Collins C: Gil Mandelbaum (a good customer for many years)Hello, Mr. Mandelbaum. D: Felicitas Belchert (your German colleague) Hello/Dear Felicitas E: Mafe Miguel ( he is your Brazilian customer) Dear Mr. Miguel or Mr. Mafe Miguel F: A production department (first contact)To who it may concern or Dear Production Department Manager G: Valentina Bez (she is a VIP customer) Dear Ms. Valentina Bez, H: Christina Bert (she is your supervisor) Dear Ms. Bert.
The format of the body: Introduction/opening
How should we start to write the body of the email?
What are the key sentences of the introduction?
•Thank you for your mail on…. •Thank you for informing me of / that… •It is our honor to provide…service for ***. •It was nice meeting / talking to you last week regarding… •I was pleased to learn of your promotion. •Your understanding on… are very much appreciated! •Please accept my appologies for repling late. •I am sincerely sorry that I was not able to make …last week for…. •I regret that I did not explain myself clearly in the previous mail. •Forgive my poor communication that created a misunderstanding. Please allow me to ...
The format of the body: Paragraphs
What’s wrong with the following email?
To: Alice Chen Subject: Mentor to our intern
CC: Robin, Abby
Though you scored below average last year in the performance review, you Have made
great progress this year! As you know, Robin is our intern and I would like you to be his
mentor for the next 3 months and I really believe that you will do a good job! Finally, I
would you mind coming over to me and talk about it directly. Anything I can help, please
let me know. Have a nice day and good luck!
What is important in the email?
1: Think of how you would like to divide or organize the message.
2: You must divide your ideas into different paragraphs in the email.
3: Punctuation, grammar and use of capital letters.
4: You shouldn’t criticise someone especially when you ask them to take on a project.
5: You shouldn’t CC to irrelevant people.
The format of Closing
•Thank you again for your cooperation! •Really appreciate your quick reply! •Please contact me/confirm after you read this mail and •the attachments. •I am expecting to hear from you as soon as possible. •I am looking forward to your reply/to talking to you soon.
Closing: End with wishes
• Wish you further success! • Wish you everything goes well! • Please accept our best wishes for every success in your new position! • Wish you a pleasant journey! • Wish you the best luck!
What is usually included in three major kinds of complimentary closings?
Someone who has the close relationship with youRegards, Best regards,
Best wishes As ever, Thanks!
Someone who has the kind relationship with you Sincerely, Sincerely yours, Yours sincerely, Cordially Someone who has the formal relationship with youYours truly, Very truly yours, Respectfully,Respectfully yours
Suggestions for Closings that match the Salutation:
Dear Customer service department Yours respectfully Dear Ms. SmithYours sincerely or Yours faithfully Dear John./Hi, JohnBest regards or Best wishes To whom it may concernYours truly Dear Professor King Sincerely or Regards
What should be included in the signature of email writing?
1: complimentary closing
2: Your full name
3: Your position, your company name, your company’s address
4: Your contact information(telephone number and fax number)
5: if possible, the website address
XI: ★ Exercise: What is wrong with the mail below?
Email 1:(Mike and Anna are Soma’s managers)
To: Soma Chakrabarti
Cc: Mike, Anna
Subject:: Draft MOA, SOW, Anti-Corruption agreement and Contract negotiation meeting arrangement
My colleagues completed the pre-contract activities. So we can enter the next step – contract negotiation. My colleagues of SADRI have developed the draft MOA, SOW, Anti-Corruption agreement and quotation sheet (see attachments for details) based on the related last training program documents. Here’s the status of each document:…
If you have any question, please let me know through any means.
Please correct the format of the email above:
Answer to mistakes:
1: the subject is to long,
2: The salutation is not correct.
3: The indentation of the first paragraph is too long.
4: There should be several different paragraphs to express your ideas.
5: You should include your own contact information, department, company and the position.
6: The date belongs at the top.
7: The tone of writing is not proper for business.
What’s wrong with the following email?
Subject：Re: Re: about the telephone class
I Really appreciate your direction and help in the past few months, which is quite valuable and meaningful for me.
I enjoyed the training and I could feel something amazing happened.
Exactly, you are a good trainer while a nice person.
Just like you mentioned, English learning is a long-term work.
Many thanks again for what you paid!
Also thanks for your attention all the time.
I should give both of you 5-star feedback!
Victor | R&D Fleet & Architecture | Materials Group
AveryDennison(China) Co., Ltd. | No.719 Nanhe Rd., Kunshan Economic & Technological District | Postal:215335
1: There are no real paragraphs in this email.
2: There are some spelling mistakes and grammatical mistakes.
3: There should be one line space left between the salutation and the subject.
4: If you would like to express your ideas to other one in the same email, you shouldn’t put the salutation at the end of the email. You need to put it at the beginning or you could transmit the information by saying” here I would like to thank …….for……
What’s wrong with the following email?
Subject: Thanks so much for replacing me during my maternity leave
To: email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org; Sandy.email@example.com; Kelly.firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com
Dear Ms. Li,
How’s being everything? I hope you are doing well. Thanks for all your efforts during my maternity
leave. It would give you a hard time at the beginning and really appreciated what you have done for
me. Again, thank you for your help. I am looking forward to your reply soon!
1: Don't send your email to so many recipients.
2: There are no different paragraphs.
3: the complimentary closing is not complete.
4: There are some grammatical mistakes.
5: The subject line is too long.
Virginia was ready to pull out her hair. Why wasn't anyone responding to her email?
As the director of training for a global professional services firm, she'd recently sent out a note explaining important changes to the summer training schedule and asking office directors to respond with their preferred locations. But only a few had done so. Training was a huge priority for her firm, so why were they ignoring her request?
Corporate employees receive and send more than 100 emails a day on average, according to tracking sites like Pingdom and Radicati. Competition for attention is fierce. So, no matter your title or department, you need to master electronic messaging to get your job done.
Luckily, crafting emails in a way that encourages people to read and act on them is relatively easy. You just have to apply some age-old techniques of persuasion.
Before you start typing, consider:
The objective. What do you want to achieve with this email? Is your purpose to inform? Request input? Ask for help?
What-who-when. Your objective will inform the message, including what to write, who should receive it and when to send it. Also think about whether it should come from you, or someone with more seniority.
Visual logic. Clear structure and typographical signalling will boost the odds that your reader will get your message quickly and respond in ways that meet your goal.
Let's look at Virginia's original, unrequited email.
To: Blue Corp Office Directors
From: Virginia Brown, Training Director
Date: Friday, May 30, 2013
Time: 5 p.m.
Subject: New Hire Training
I'm writing to let you know about significant changes to our new hire training schedule. Instead of running training from August 15 - 20th at our New York location, we'll be hosting regional trainings in New York, San Francisco and Cincinnati on three different dates. And we'll be bringing our best trainers to every location. For those office directors with new hires, we'd like to hear which training location you prefer and how many new hires you'll be sending. If for some reason the timing, which will be August 10-14th in NYC, 15-19th in SF and 20-24th in Cincinnati, doesn't work, please contact my assistant, Francine Nordell at x2345, and we'll see if there is enough demand for a make-up session. We need to put the calendar for training together by June 30th, so please get back to me by June 15th. I think you'll be pleased with our new approach and your new hires will benefit tremendously from getting to know a smaller group of colleagues as they participate in the training.
Virginia's message isn't long, but it's a muddle of mixed signals. Her opening line sounds like her goal is to inform office directors of a new approach to training. But in reality she's requesting input: preferred training locations. That's hard to quickly recognize, and the urgency isn't clear.
There are several things she can do to better telegraph her intent, thereby prompting a better response:
Put the subject line to work. Most of us already use our subject line to predict the "what," e.g. "Re monthly financials." But it's also the place to build a personal bridge: "Re monthly financials, per Peter's request," and to indicate urgency: "Re monthly financials, per Peter's request. Need feedback by Tuesday."
Visually highlight the key message. Structure your email so the most important request or information is at the top, then put it in bold. This may seem like a, "duh," but people often "bury the lead", as journalists like to say, several paragraphs down. If you are sending to multiple readers, also bold the names of anyone you address directly, so they immediately connect to content that's relevant to them. If you're making multiple points, use indentations and numbers or bullets.
Use links to go deep; voting buttons to get answers. If you want someone to act on your email then make it concise and jargon-free. Use links to let readers go deeper or access forms, and voting buttons to get folks to sign up.
Time the delivery for maximum impact. Never send an email at the end of the day or the start of a weekend. Make sure people are opening it at a time when they're at their desks and have time to read it.
Add clout by having a superior co-sign. We may be moving into a less hierarchical work world, but the boss's name still gets attention. If you need help, ask for it.
Leave the ball in the reader's court. If you want people to get back to you or take action, make sure you put the request in bold as well. Make clear what you need from them.
Let's apply this to Virginia's email.
To: Blue Corp Office Directors
From: Gordon Boss, SVP Human Resources and Virginia Brown, Training Director
Date: Thursday, May 29, 2013
Time: 9 a.m.
Subject: Need Your Site Registration for New Hire Training by June 15th
We are converting from national to regional sites for our new-hire training and offering three dates. We need you to register your trainees for a venue by June 15th to accommodate all. Please click on one of the following sites to register and enter the number of trainees.
New York: August 10-14
San Francisco: August 15-19
Cincinnati: August 20-24
If the timing doesn't work, please contact my assistant, Francine Nordell at x2345, who will gauge demand for a make-up session.
We'll be sending our best trainers to all locations. We anticipate that getting to know a smaller group of colleagues will strengthen relationships and spark collaboration.
Thanks in advance for registering.
One of the problems with email today is that people are allowing their text message habits to spill over allowing them to be very casual with the language and abbreviations. Your writing style, just like spelling and grammar, represents who you are and in business correspondence it is better to present a professional and intellegent personality, especially when you copy the message to so many people. What you say and how you say things in an email can help or destroy a career.
At this stage I suggest you compose you emails in a program that has English spell and grammar check like Microsoft word. Be sure the language is set to English U.S. or U.K. before you begin to compose your message. Spell and grammar check will point out words that need to be reconsidered but there are times when the software is not correct so be careful. Avoid run-on sentences but at the same time don’t cut up everything into fragments. Finally, proof read your message for content and coherency and if you are not sure have someone else review your message before you send it because once it is sent there is no calling it back. If it is bad you must remember whatever you write can be forward to anyone with comments about anything so always keep a copy in case someone wants to sabotage your message.
Real and recent samples of poor emails from an executive:
Hi Steven, good to know that you have this plan, we expect you visit the Wuhan market and give us some advice, we will reserve these dates to company with you in Wuhan.
Sophy and Tanja, warmly invite you come to Wuhan this second important market besides CD for West, especially there are 3 Mega Core stores in Jianghan Road, one opened in the last year and two opened 3 year ago, somehow it’s a little bit out of line with the newest high standard in terms of store image, now we are working on setting right consumer journey for these stores, also we would like to get some new inspiration and suggestions from you, I will be highly appreciated if you can set up a VM on-site workshop.
Thank you and looking forward to see you in WH.
We are delighted to learn of this plan and we look forward to your visit of the Wuhan market. We always appreciate the advice you share and we will reserve these dates to accompany you in Wuhan.
Mary and Janice warmly invite you to Wuhan, the second most important market besides Cheng Du for West. Especially now that there are 3 Mega Core stores in Jianghan Road, one opened last year and two opened 3 years ago. Somehow they are a little bit out of line with the newest high standard in terms of store image and we are working on creating the perfect consumer experience for these stores. We would also like to get some new inspiration and suggestions from you. It will be highly appreciated if you can set up a VM on-site workshop.
Thank you and we are looking forward to seeing you in Wuhan.
The methodology for this should be:
1) Company has decided to take SPC out, it’s a decision that cannot be changed,
2) Considering their 2014 order has been done, they have placed SPC product and just ordered a few SKU for running which is the only possible category to replace SPC after we study it with HQ related functional team, but only several SKU for running that cannot set up it as a corner, the image will be poor,
3) On the other hand, another big risk is to lose ST of this space, if so we will face a more bigger pressure from customer,
4) so we say this from Aug to Dec which is transaction period, it’s more practical way to solve both challenge,
So I think that it should be easier than before to convince customer to accept this arrangement.
Regarding the resource I think that those construction subsidy or anyone else is more effective for bargaining power. But for this case, current VM plan actually it’s helping the customer, we should use this convince them, anyway Leo and me will work with you.
The methodology for this project should be:
1)Company has decided to take SPC out, it’s a decision that cannot be changed, 2)Considering their 2014 order has been done, they have placed SPC product and just ordered a few SKU for running which is the only possible category to replace SPC after we studied it with HQ related functional team. However there are several SKU for running that cannot be set up as a corner, the image will be poor. 3)On the other hand, another big risk is to remove ST from this space. If so we will face a much greater pressure from the customer,
4) So from Aug to Dec, which is a transaction period, it’s a more practical way to solve both challenges. I think that it should be easier than before to convince the customer to accept this arrangement. Regarding the resource I think that the construction subsidy or anyone else is more effective for bargaining power. However, for this case, the current VM plan will actually help the customer and we should use this to convince them. Leo and I look forward to working with you.
The remarkable World Cup is coming soon, Since the start of this year, the football fever has caught on. As the official sponsor of the FIFA World Cup, zzzzzzz has been sparing no effort to invest in both marketing and retail fields to celebrate this quadrennial carnival and to continue its genuine and traditional genes of football. Appearing at the world’s biggest stage for football will showcase just why our brand is the clear global leader in football. This is also a chance for us to share our passion, creativities and pride by successfully building up the campaign ever in China market.
On top of this campaign, we also come out regional initiative – WC retail enhancement program to strengthen WC atmosphere in retail end stores, pls check the attached PDF, we will brief the detail to you during battle pack campaign briefing meeting.
Get involved or miss out! 2014, a year of World Cup; 2014, a year of zzzzzzz football.
The remarkable World Cup is coming soon, since the start of this year; the football fever has caught on. As the official sponsor of the FIFA World Cup, Zzzzzzz has been sparing no effort to invest in both marketing and retail fields to celebrate this quadrennial carnival and to continue its genuine and traditional genes of football. Appearing at the world’s biggest stage for football we will showcase why our brand is the clear global leader in football. This is also a chance for us to share our passion, creativity and pride by successfully building a powerful campaign in the China market.
On top of this campaign, we also come out with the regional initiative – a WC retail enhancement program to strengthen WC atmosphere in retail end stores. Please check the attached PDF; we will brief you on the details during battle pack campaign briefing meeting.
Get involved or miss out! 2014, a year of World Cup; 2014, a year of Zzzzzzz football.